


Legend of Akira

by Malachai Hakim (TheGameFreak)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alchemy, Aliens, Angel Wings, Angelic Grace, Angels, Beautiful, Belligerent Sexual Tension, Bikinis, Blood, Blood Drinking, Blood Elves, Blood Mages, Blood Magic, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Bloodlust, Breasts, Chi Blocking, Clairvoyance, Conspiracy, Cyborgs, Dark Elves, Dark Magic, Demon Blood, Demon Summoning, Demonic Possession, Demons, Demons Are Assholes, Dragon-Blooded, Dragons, Dragonspeak, Drow, Drunk Elves, Elves, Elves are Dicks, Elvish, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Fanservice, Fantasy, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, For Science!, Friendship is Magic, Gangs, Gangsters, God Tier, God-Blooded, Goddesses, Gods, Gun Violence, Gunplay, Guns, Hormones, Horniness, Horns, Horny Teenagers, Hot, Illusions, Jutsu, Katana, Long Hair, M/M, Mad Science, Mages, Mages Guild, Mages and Templars, Magic, Magic Tricks, Magic-Users, Magical Artifacts, Magical Tattoos, Monsters, Multi, Muscles, NaNoWriMo, NaNoWriMo 2016, Naga, Ninja, Nosebleed, Oracles, Orcs, Outer Space, Prophecy, Prophetic Dreams, Prophetic Visions, Prophets, Psychic Abilities, Psychic Bond, Psychic Violence, Qunari, Robots, Romance, Samurai, Science, Science Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Sexy, Sexy Times, Smut, Snakes, Snarky Elves, Space Flight, Space Opera, Spaceships, Speedos, Summoning, Summoning Circles, Swearing, Swordfighting, Swordplay, Swords, Swords & Sorcery, Sylvari, Telekinesis, Telepathy, Tieflings, Tricksters, Vampires, Violence, Weird Plot Shit, Weirdness, Witch Curses, Witchcraft, Witches, Wizards, Yakuza
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 03:43:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8474083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGameFreak/pseuds/Malachai%20Hakim
Summary: 1,000 years into the future, on the Earth-like planet of Zephyria, in the metropolitan city of Kalosia, a young man named Akira Tanaka sits in a noodle shop with his shimmering sword, contemplating the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.
He never thought his life would have much meaning to it outside of eating, sleeping, and sex. And also, cutting down thugs and criminals like trees. However, when a powerful shapeshifting demon who was long thought to be dead suddenly returns and wreaks havoc on the planet, he finds himself thrust into a whole new dimension, filled with magic, monsters, conspiracies, mysteries, romance, and all sorts of insanity from here to Sunday and back. Akira might not understand what's going on, but he does know one thing: he's in for one wild ride.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Greetings and Salutations! This is the very first novel that I have ever written! Now, I am writing this for NaNoWriMo, so it's going to be completely unedited, and about 97% of it is gonna be really fucking super weird as hell and shit. That being said, hope you enjoy the show! And away we go~!

_Legend tells of a legendary warrior, whose skills of magic and swordsmanship were the things of legend. He wandered across the entire world, in search of foes worthy enough to face him. All have tried to fight him, but all have fallen before him and his sword. One had yet to defeat him._

A young man walked through the large city of Kalosia, wearing straw jingasa on top of his head, and a long sword hanging off his back. He was tall and muscular, and he had long, bright, and fiery red hair that ended in yellow tips, and eyes that were as blue as the summer sky. Akira Tanaka had been incredibly bored since his last battle at the city of Yunova, where he decapitated several hundred orcs before finally slicing a mechanical T-Rex cleanly in half. Now he was wandering again, and he was really hungry.

Thankfully, the local noodle restaurant was just up ahead, so he smiled as he walked inside. He smiled and saluted to people as he walked by before sitting down and ordering a bowl. However, while he was enjoying his bowl of delicious ramen noodles, the door burst open and a group of tough, angry, and monstrous-looking men barged in. Akira sighed as he noticed them. The Sakura Yakuza had been quite the intolerable pain in the ass in Kalosia. It didn't help that most of their members consisted of loan sharks and boneheaded enforcers. Not to mention, their leader, Oso Roshi, was the absolutely biggest scumbag who ever lived. When he wasn't ruining lives and taking advantage of other people, he was busy toying around with his so-called wife and his numerous mistresses. Despicable.

Akira looked at them blankly as the thugs walked through the restaurant, glaring angrily at the other patrons and generally terrifying them to no end. As much as he was ready to deal with any trouble that happened around him, he generally didn't give a shit about them at the moment. So, he kept eating his noodles and minding his own business. Of course, the yakuza thugs had been supposedly looking for him, because once they had spotted Akira, they immediately made a beeline for his table and surrounded him, glaring angrily down at him just as they did to the other patrons. A particularly large and burly man sporting a Mohawk, an eyepatch, and thick facial hair stomped up to Akira's table and sat down in front of him. When he grinned at Akira, it looked extremely sinister and unsettling, with a mouth full of teeth that looked pointier than a shark's. If Akira didn't know any better, he'd say that this man was Oso.

Oso cracked his knuckles and his neck before glaring at Akira. "So, you must be that "handsome" little redhead that everyone's talking about." He said.

Akira looked up at the man blankly. "Yeah, that's me." He said flatly. "What's it to you?"

Oso slammed his fists onto the table and stared down at Akira. "Where the hell do you get off, fucking around my house and sleeping with my girl?"

" _Your_ girl?" Akira asked, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, I didn't know we were owning people nowadays. Also, _which_ girl?"

" _My wife._ But not that you would care." Oso growled. His wife had left him the day before, for reasons that were probably obvious. "And what a big surprise that _you_ , of all people, would show up and steal her away. I always knew she was an unfaithful cunt."

Akira casually slurped up some noodles before looking back at Oso. "Yeah...you sure she didn't leave because you were being a bloodthirsty, possessive, and megalomaniacal psychopath? And also a colossal douchcanoe?"

Oso chuckled derisively, brushing off Akira's insults. "You sure talk a lot of shit for a guy who apparently likes to make a habit out of making cuckolds of his fellow gentlemen."

Akira chuckled for a moment at the mention of the word gentlemen. _Oso Roshi_. A _gentleman_.

Yeah, right.

"And you sure talk a lot of shit for a guy who just got cheated on." Akira said, smirking. "Not that you didn't deserve it. You know...because of all the aforementioned psychopathy. And douchiness. Also, your wife just called me earlier. She wanted me to tell you that she wants a divorce. You can probably guess why."

Oso sneered then stood up from the table in a furious huff. "Well, redhead, you'll be more than happy to know that my wife and I won't be getting a divorce." He said, then quickly pulled out a gun and pointed it at Akira's face. "Because I _killed_ her."

Akira stared blankly at the barrel of the pistol before looking back at Oso again. "Yeah...see, _this_ is _exactly_ the kind of psychopathic bullshit that made your wife leave you." He said.

"It's _her_ fault for leaving me. But now she's burning in hell." Oso roared, then grinned maniacally. "And since you loved fucking her so much, you can join her."

Akira calmly stood up and looked at Oso, his eyes cold and unfeeling. Also, he still had noodles in his mouth, so he didn't say anything. Then, he swallowed. And then he spoke. "Yeah." He said, then grabbed the sword on his back. "How about...no."

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, a flash of blue swooped down, then a burst of red sprayed everywhere. Oso and his men stared in shock and fear as Akira now stood with his sword unsheathed. It was long dark blade that had specks of bright shining blue dotting it up and down the sides, with a solid line of bright blue forming the sharp edge. But that wasn't what had them terrified. The gun...and also, Oso's hand, were both sliced cleanly in half, as if the metal of the gun and the flesh and bone of Oso's hand had all been nothing more than just glass and paper. They stared in horror before they finally started to realize just how truly powerful Akira was.

"I don't know if anybody ever told you who I am. But, allow me to introduce myself." Akira said, glaring angrily. "My name is Akira Tanaka. And there are two things in this universe that I absolutely do not stand. And those are assholes and the never-ending bullshit that they spew from their mouths and bring down upon everyone around them."

It was at that moment that, as Akira spoke, the dragon tattoo on his right side began to glow a bright and shimmering blue, just like his sword. A bright blue aura glowed and radiated around Akira as a ball of energy formed in his hand.

"And you are clearly giving me nothing but bullshit." He said calmly yet angrily. He raised his hand and aimed the energy ball. "In other words, Oyabin Oso Roshi, you have just fucked up."

With that said, Akira fired a bright blue energy beam at Oso, knocking him away from Akira and throwing the large man through the wall and out of the restaurant. Of course, the other thugs didn't take too kindly to that. And so, they pulled their weapons out and charged furiously at Akira. But of course, Akira was no fool. He knew better. He quickly jumped up and over the charging brutes and landed behind them before firing an energy blast at them, knocking them away as well. He turned to the other wave of thugs and moved his hands in a quick sequence, then laid down a wave of energy, which knocked them down just as it did the first wave.

He then raised his sword and slashed it at even more yakuza thugs charging at him with all sorts of axes and maces and other such deadly implements of violence. He cut them down like bamboo stalks, splashing blood everywhere, and cutting their weapons in half too. He went and sliced really fast. Fast like lightning. Faster _than_ lightning, even. He ran along the walls and across the ceiling so quickly that his opponents went insane trying to comprehend his speed. Akira stood his ground as he parried and blocked the thugs' strikes and attacks, then skewered and sliced them to ribbons. It mattered not how many foes Akira was facing, for they were absolutely no match for him, or his magic, or his sword. _Especially_ not his sword.

When it seemed like it was finally over, a swarm of ninjas and loan sharks jumped into the air and attempted to pile onto Akira in one collective assault. However, Akira still had a few tricks up his sleeve. He gathered up all of his energy, focused it intensely, and then threw out his hands as he released one big blast of energy in all directions, blasting all of the thugs away and knocking them around like ragdolls. Akira watched as they were all thrown through the walls and ceilings, and out the windows and doors. When it was all over, he stood and looked around and waited to catch his breath. Then he sighed.

"Good fucking riddance." He said as slipped his sword back into its sheath. He turned to the other patrons and the restaurant staff, who were, understandably, startled and shaken, but otherwise unharmed. He noticed that, despite dispatching the ugly and disgusting criminals, he had caused quite a bit of damage to the noodle restaurant in the process. "Also, sorry about trashing the restaurant. I fucked up. Shit."

The owner looked at Akira and smiled. "Are you fucking kidding?" He said, smiling. "Those assholes have been taking advantage of me and my family for months! Not to mention, they've always been scaring all my customers! I mean, ain't that some shit?"

"Oh. Huh." Akira said, raising an eyebrow, then shrugging. "Well, I can't say I'm not surprised by this."

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" The owner said. "How can we ever repay you?"

"No need." Akira said, waving his hand. "I'm just doing what I do best. Cutting bitches while drunk off my ass."

"You're drunk?" The owner asked.

"Not yet." Akira said. Although, that would quickly change soon enough. If he could just find a bar on the way home.

"Well, regardless, we wanna show you how grateful we are for freeing us all!" The owner said happily. "Have all the noodles you want for today! It's on the house!"

With that, everyone cheered joyfully, for they have been finally freed of another horrible monster beast person...thing. Either way, they were finally free! And it was thanks to the weird boy with the red hair. The weird boy named Akira. Never before had a hero like him had ever been so feared...and so loved. For even the most heroic heroes in all of Zephyria bowed in respect to this great magical swordsman.

As Akira walked out of the restaurant, a few women swooned and sighed as he passed by them.

"That's Akira-kun~!" One girl cheered. "He's so handsome!"

"And attractive too~" Another girl purred. "And those tattoos! Oh, I'm so wet just from looking at them!"

"I want him to do me super hard!" Yet another girl sighed. "I want to have all of his babies!"

Soon, a lot of girls had crowded around Akira, hoping to catch his attention. Eventually, he decided to take one of them home with him for the day. But not before stopping by the local bar and grabbing a few gourds of sake for the night. Sweet, delicious sake.

Damn, did it feel good to be a hero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow. This turned out to be a lot longer than I expected it to be. That being said, it came out quite well! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! And be sure not to miss the next chapter, coming soon!


End file.
